I’ve heard rumors, but wasn’t certain such a phenomenon actually existed. Sympathy weight—i.e., when a man begins to simultaneously gain weight during the course of his partner’s pregnancy.
Actually, I suppose it’s not gender specific. Any non-birthing partner could be guilty of packing on empathic poundage. It’s 2011, after all—let’s not make assumptions.
Point being, I seem to have a competitive spirit that I was largely unaware of. Team sports? Eh. Spelling bees? No thanks. Gain more weight (and more rapidly) that my pregnant fiancée? YOU’RE ON!
Since I never had an ab I could locate, I’m not too bothered by my increased girth. But now any semblance of a flat stomach has been overrun by cupcakes, battered goods, and an insatiable urge to ingest wheels of cheese.
So, I bought a bike.
For the exercise. And because it’s easier for me to pedal than run. I should point out that running is the bane of my existence and only for those who lack imagination or a sense of humor.*
[*Note: Mice can run. Or somewhat scurry. I've never seen a rat on a bike]
I’ve mentioned that our new neighborhood is full of hidden treasures and lovely tidbits. But it’s also adjacent to a nice little hike and bike trail. Which connects to another, slightly larger trail. Which connects to a massive ten-mile trail encircling a lake.
Which I rode. Twice. In the same day. And then rode home. Equaling, and I’m being exact here, 22.96 miles.
Granted, I had to work up to that. On my third ride. The first two rides only totaled 13.63 miles. I say that smugly because I couldn’t run two miles if I was being chased. So biking miles upon miles—for me and my expanding waistline—is like finding the Arc of the Covenant. Or Curly’s Gold.
And, may I say, this thing is flipping fast. Carbon fiber front fork. Aluminum frame. Same torsional rigidity as the pro-spec bike which won last year’s Tour de France.
And it’s red. Winning.
Why do all these specs matter? I’m just looking for a way to trim down these love handles, right? Well, after my first ride, I was hooked.
As in, immediately go out and buy a form-fitting jersey, hooked.
We’ll see how this all plays out, but make no mistake, I’m having some pretty hardcore delusions of finding a cycling coach and getting myself race ready to compete in some local events and group rides.
Maybe even a time-trial or two.
But that’s a long way off and will require upkeep and a commitment. And a new saddle. Because this one is Chinese torture.
Right now, I’m wholeheartedly enjoying the feeling of being back on a bike. If I lose a few pounds, or at least burn off enough calories to make room for more cheese, I’ll be happy.
What’s the maximum weight a bike seat can support? Let’s not find out.
Miriam
March 2, 2011
I believe my brother (who does downhill mountain biking and cyclocross) agrees with you wholeheartedly on the “burn off enough calories to make room for more cheese” philosophy of biking. He recommends padded shorts as being more useful than the jersey. You know. For the Chinese torture.
J.R. Ball
March 2, 2011
I trust you’ll pass along my appreciation for the insight.
Also, does he have cheese recommendations? Yes or no?
Annie
March 2, 2011
Johnny! You bought a serious bike! Come ride with us……..you can also check out the super sweet vintage bikes we bought last weekend. They are a picture waiting to happen in all their old-timey glory!
J.R. Ball
March 3, 2011
vintage bikes?! sounds awesome! where’d you guys find ‘em?
Annie
March 3, 2011
From this guy who restores them in this cozy little neighborhood in south Dallas. We bought one he’d already restored and then found a sparkly green schwinn that is 100 percent original.
J.R. Ball
March 3, 2011
Does this sage’s workshop have a name? I want to go to there…
Annie
March 4, 2011
No name for the shop. He’s just Ray.
J.R. Ball
March 4, 2011
Yep. That makes it even cooler.
suz
March 2, 2011
mmm cheese. i think i’m also gaining sympathy weight.
J.R. Ball
March 3, 2011
glad to have you in the club, suz.
photine
March 3, 2011
I bought a bike to ride around the neighborhood (paved roads please) and I absolutely love it. I tried for years to get myself to do walking as a form of exercise and now every time I’m riding around I can’t believe that I ever tried to convince myself that walking was fun. Bicycles FTW.
J.R. Ball
March 3, 2011
Agreed! Does Houston have a lot of good trails? It’s equally as flat as Dallas, so that’s a plus too.
dimi
March 9, 2011
That sounds awesome man, I really need to start doing that if my allergies let me. Damn you spring!
J.R. Ball
March 9, 2011
Rumor has it I may be picking up a second bike soon for neighborhood jaunts.
Plus, it could be borrowed if a buddy (*cough, you, cough*) were to join me on the trails…
Texanne
July 3, 2011
1. Where are you now? This is 3 July!
2. Will your bike take a baby seat? Kidding. You’ll get a different bike for that.
Hope you are doing well and that Meg and Rocky are doing well, too. Come back to the blogosphere. :)TX
alanmargu
January 23, 2012
If you ever start a group of fluctuating weight, athletic wannabe dads, I’d love to join!
Jon Ball
January 27, 2012
You bet man, sounds like a plan.